2010 New Year Resolutions One Might Wish For

Imagine if the following people made these New Year resolutions, and then stuck to them:

Rush Limbaugh:  “I will only tell the truth and always present verifiable facts.”

Former Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin: “I will actually do research before making comments on ANYTHING.”

US President Barack Obama:  “I will find the secret to getting republicans to like me.”

First Lady Michelle Obama:  “I will stay off Oprah’s show.”  (easy, since it’s ending anyway)

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi:  “I will find the secret to getting republicans to like me.”

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell:  “I will stop bashing health care reform”.

Senator Majority Leader Harry Reid:  “If Mitch McConnell actually stops bashing, I’ll walk from Washington to New York, backwards, naked.”

Fox News:  “We will REALLY be fair and balanced…as soon as we find out what that means.”

CNN:  “If Fox ever does get fair & balanced, we’ll walk from Atlanta to New York, backwards, naked, in a snowstorm.”

Former House Majority Leader Tom Delay:  “I won’t go back on “Dancing With The Stars” and I will beat the bum rap against me.”

Hillary Clinton:  “I won’t run for president again, but I want my own TV show”.

John McCain:  “I won’t run for president again…but I don’t remember why not.”

Pamela Anderson:  “I will be back in “Barb Wire, the Sequel.”

AIG:  “We’ll never again take bailout money from the feds….”.

US Health Insurance Industry:  “We will fully embrace health care reform”.

US Pharmaceutical Industry:  “We will stop ripping off the American public with outlandish drug prices”.

US Auto Industry:  “We can build cars that last 20 years and run on water, and we will.  This year!!”

Ann Coulter:  “I’m coming out of the closet and declaring my true beliefs:  I’m really a liberal, and Obama’s the BEST!!”

Osama Bin Laden:  “I will spend at least four hours every day outdoors in the sunshine”.

Senator Joe Leiberman:  “I will decide what I am.  Again.”

Senator James Inhofe:  “I will admit that human activities cause global warming.”

Copenhagen Global Warming Conference:  “When Inhofe admits to the above, we’ll all swim across the Atlantic, backwards, naked, in a hurricane.”

We, the PEOPLE:  “If anyone walks or swims backwards, naked, we’ll be there…to provide commentary, of course.”  :)

Happy New Year 2010 to all!!

The Night Before Christmas?

T’was the night before Christmas and all through the land,

The GOP was wondering if it really could stand

Any more of their losing their partisan fights

After health reform passed by the dawn’s early light

With votes being scheduled by day and by night.

The GOP became rabid and threatened to bite.

But it mattered not, health care reform was a fact

That they could not defeat even with the fat cats

Dumping millions and millions into their campaign funds;

The GOP, though grateful, wishes it were new guns.

In the meantime, giving credit were credit is due,

Sarah Palin received her well-deserved cue

from Politifact.com, the nation’s truth master,

for becoming the USA’s top truth disaster,

“Liar of the Year”, her new titled crown,

For prevaricating that seniors would be “put down”

by “death panels” she claimed, that would solely decide,

which seniors would live, and which should just die.

And while this was happening, the economy grew,

job loss slowed and stocks rose anew.

Personal income is up, while inventory shrinks.

Yet, the GOP claims the recession still stinks

As they deny and delay and they obstruct the dems.

What they yell and they scream just simply condemns

Each word and each action from the other side,

Attempting, it seems, to prove that they lied

Even more than Miss Sarah, so perhaps they can earn

“Liar of the Year” at Politifact‘s next yearly turn.

But they’ll have to wait for a whole ‘nother year,

So they’ll crank up the mongering of hate and of fear,

For they have nothing else, no data or facts;

Thus, all they have left are their lie-spewing hacks.

But We, the PEOPLE!! are onto their tricks,

even though they may view us as dumb country hicks.

It doesn’t much matter, ’cause the times, they are changin’

and Titanic’s deck chairs don’t need more arranging,

a lesson the GOP, one hopes, will embrace,

If they ever again want to win a presidential race.

So during this season of good will and good cheer

We, the PEOPLE!! wishes GOP a very great year,

whether vying for a dubious liar award,

Or deciding to end it and fall on their sword,

Or maybe, just maybe, they’ll get the flick

That they have no need for playing a trick;

If they just use the truth when debating a bill.

They just might, someday, retake the Hill.

So for now only good thoughts we’re sending their way

Merry Christmas to all, We the PEOPLE!! wishes today!

PS.  The War on Christmas?  WHAT war on Christmas??  May your war be non-existent and may your Christmas be a very merry one!

Sarah Palin, Starring in “TERMINATOR 5: THE GREEN WEENIE”

As reported in We, the PEOPLE!! last week, the Copenhagen International Climate Change Conference is now in full swing.  The leaders of most countries and many of the brightest scientific minds on Earth are attending in an effort to somehow limit future green-gas emissions and reduce, or at least delay, potentially catastrophic global warming.

Of course, “catastrophic” may not be the description if one lives close to, or even north of the Arctic Circle, like, say, in Alaska.  Folks up there probably wish for warmer temperatures so that riding a motorcycle or even a snowmobile can be done without freezing one’s nose off.

As the Copenhagen conference gets underway and the debates get more heated, the entertainment heats up, too.  The likely attendance and saber-rattling of US republican senator James Inhofe, who intends to put those uppity scientists in their place by preaching real (pseudo) science to them, based upon his experience in real estate, was reported last week.  But this week, it gets better!

Enter California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, also known world-wide as the Terminator. He leads one of the most smog- and air-pollution-prone areas in the world.  Over the years, California has instituted some of the strictest anti-pollution laws on Earth in an effort to control this illness-inducing bad air, most of which is caused by car exhaust and the burning of fossil fuels.  So it’s no surprise that Arnold the Terminator attended the Copenhagen conference in support of any emission controls that can be agreed upon.  He also held a news conference during he specifically raised questions regarding Sarah Palin’s position on global warming.

Regardless of what one thinks of Sarah Palin, most people will agree that she is fun to watch.  She lives in Alaska, much of which is above the Arctic Circle.  From the time she was a vice-presidential candidate, this “rogue” (by her own description in the title of her book) republican has been entertaining people everywhere.  Whether it was her ignorance of the “Bush Doctrine as a vice-presidential nominee, or her belief that expertise in foreign policy comes from being able to see Canada and Russia from Alaska’s borders (though not at the same time), she has mesmerized people with her Idaho-drawl and her mystical beliefs and descriptions of policies and positions.

In 2008 Palin took a stand against humans having any impact on global warming.  Her education rivals that of senator James Inhofe, who earned a degree in business administration at the age of 38.  While Palin’s degree in journalism was earned much earlier at the age of 23, she did put it to good use as a sportscaster.  Thus, she could rival her buddy Inhofe as he shakes his finger and scorns those arrogant scientific PhDs in Copenhagen.

But back to the entertainment.  Commenting during his Copenhagen press conference about Palin position on global warming, the Terminator asked “What is she trying to accomplish?  Is she really interested in this subject or is she interested in her career and in winning the (Republican presidential) nomination?   You have to take all these things with a grain of salt.”

Of course, being the true entertainer that she is, Palin wasn’t going to pass up any opportunity to response to the Terminator publicly on her Facebook page.  She fired back, in part, “Perhaps he will recall that I live in our nation’s only Arctic state and that I was among the first governors to create a sub-cabinet to deal specifically with climate change.”  She went on to say, “While I and all Alaskans witness the impacts of changes in weather patterns firsthand, I have repeatedly said that we can’t primarily blame man’s activities for those changes (underline added)” and she concluded, “what I didn’t do was hamstring Alaska’s job creators with burdensome regulations so that I could act ‘greener than thou‘” (emphasis added), a reference to the Terminator’s strong support for anti-pollution-emission and green technology laws in California.

She also took on former US vice-president Al Gore, claiming that Gore is promoting “doomsday scenarios”.  She also wrote on her Facebook page  “Climate change is like gravity – a naturally occurring phenomenon that existed long before, and will exist long after, any governmental attempts to affect it.

Yes, indeedie!  It warms the heart knowing that humanity is protected by the likes of Inhofe and Palin.  And how silly of all those scientists who spent all of that money and all of those years earning their advanced Masters and Doctorate degrees!  That money could have been better spent renting helicopters to shoot at wolves from 500 feet, or on bigger gas-guzzling cars…and yachts..and private jets..and drilling for more oil in National Wildlife Preserves!

And it’s not everyone who gets to pull on Superman’s cape, or in this case, on the Terminator’s “green weenie”, and then live to talk about it.  With a big, fat smile, no less!  That’s why we love Sarah!

Coming soon…”Green Weenie…the MOVIE!”

* * * Special announcement 12-20-09:  Sarah Palin wins Liar of the Year Award from Politifact.com!!!  Check it out HERE and/or at Politifact.com

If You Can’t Beat Them, Babble at Their Conference

There are still people on earth who still think that the world is flat, or that believe psychics really do see the future with the exception of winning lottery numbers or really good stocks to buy (which is why they still work for $20 an hour).  So it’s no surprise that some folks still reject the concept of global warming and humanity’s role in it, despite tens of thousands of scientists world-wide with empirical data that repeatedly supports the science demonstrating the role of human-produced carbon and other heat-retaining “greenhouse” gases’ impact on the atmosphere, polar ice, and ocean heat-sinks.

Typically, the folks opposing the concept of human-induced or even human-aided global warming claim that it is a hoax, engineered by scientists just to get government grants as well as other money.  The detractors claim that  there is no credible scientific evidence to support human-induced global warming, any more than there is scientific evidence to support evolution.  They access all kinds of scientific ‘facts” of their own in support of their positions.  And occasionally, they will even insert religion into the discussion, as is the case when the creationists try to justify their beliefs by stating that the earth is no more than 6000 year old, and that approximately 3000 years ago, Noah put two of every animal on earth on his arc, including dinosaurs with modern day humans, and mammoths, and every living bacteria, amoeba, virus, mold, and all the other microscopic critters that today survive because of ol’ Noah’s efforts.

But regardless of what “evidence” these folks use, they are always lacking one thing:  Peer-reviewed scientific research that followed the scientific method (Ask a Question, Do Background Research, Construct a Hypothesis, Test Your Hypothesis by Doing an Experiment, Analyze Your Data and Draw a Conclusion, and Communicate Your Results) and survived strong peer-review scrutiny of the final result obtained.

A classic example (and one that is going to by embarrassing to all Americans and to America itself) is the expected trip of US senator James Inhofe, republican of Oklahoma.  He made headlines as far back as 2003 when he announced that “global warming is the greatest ever perpetrated on the American People”.

Inhofe has since backed up his claim (so he thinks) that human-induced global warming is a myth by using either archaic, debunked or out-of-context scientific “facts” to support his claim.  They are specifically listed and then specifically disproven here.

Much of what he and his supporters do is similar to the boy standing on a beach on a clear day, seeing where the ocean ends and the sky starts, and determining based upon his “scientific and empirical observation” that the earth is clearly flat with an edge that just drops off precipitously at the horizon.  In fact, most humans before Columbus’ voyages to the new world believed the same thing.  Even the church propagated this miserable misconception based upon flawed “science”, just that they propagated that the earth was the center of the both solar system and the universe.  These examples do reinforce the edict that if you say something often enough, it will eventually become “true” to the people hearing it over and over.

Senator Inhofe, claiming to be a “one-man-truth-squad”, will travel to Copenhagen, Denmark, where the world conference on climate change is occurring.  He will represent his political party, his philosophy, and also his country, since he is an American elected government official.  He will challenge every government leader and every scientist both attending the conference and working in the lab back in their own countries.  He will question their credibility and their personal and professional competence and integrity.  He will do so based upon all of his scientific expertise, achieved during a lifetime of real estate development and politics, and he will shine in the scientific brilliance of his undergraduate degree in business administration from the University of Tulsa, Oklahoma, which he finally achieved at the age of 38.

In Inhofe’s case, he is arrogant and self-deluded enough to think that he will somehow be given even the slightest amount of credibility by the many government leaders and the many real climatologists, geologists, chemists, microbiologists, anthropologists, physicists, mathematicians, and experts in a variety of other physical science disciplines that will be present, many whom have advanced college degrees in their scientific specialty, and all of whom have studied the evidence of human-induced global warming in their respective fields.

The very vast majority of these scientists from around the world have concluded the same thing:  Human-induced global warming is real, it is here, the effects are already with us, it is accelerating, and the ability to track molecules of human-induced greenhouse gases both in the atmosphere and in precipitation and in the world’s oceans, while a basic scientific capability, is universally seen and proven over and over and over.  But Inhofe will not be stopped.

In fact, if Inhofe tries hard enough, he just might be able to convince all those learned scientists the earth really is only 6000 years old, that Noah had dinosaurs and humans together on his arc, and the the earth really is flat.

Don’t just wish you could be there for the moment the scientific community has their “Inhofe” epiphany?  But if you do, here’s a word of advise for when senator James Inhofe from the USA is doing his “thing”:

Let everyone think you’re Canadian.

The Holiday Season of Unhealthfulness

Warning:  This blog is gonna piss some people off.

As we pass the Thanksgiving holiday and get closer and closer to Christmas and New Years parties and family gatherings, most people are looking forward to the rest of the holiday season with anticipation and joy.

Yet, there are others who face the coming festivities with frustration and even dread.  These folks are often chastised for doing so.  As a result, many will accept their fate and suffer in silence, knowing they cannot fight a superior force of chocolate-dipped tradition wrapped in cholesterol-laden holiday bacon and baked in a pound of greasy turkey or ham fat, butter-saturated family holiday dinner events.  The pressure for them to succumb to the endless unwelcome temptations lying in wait at these gatherings is ultimately irresistible.  It is foisted upon them in a public setting, where they will be considered grossly offensive and anti-holiday, not to mention obnoxious and peculiar, unless they surrender to the bad health choices all around them.  Of course, this refers to all the folks who fight hard every day to maintain an healthy diet and/or lifestyle. They have either lost weight after a hell of a lot of hard work, or are in process.  They may either be or still are obese.  They may either already have or are desperately trying to avoid health issues.  Or any combination thereof.

People with such medical issues as high blood pressure, high cholesterol, high triglycerides, and/or diabetes, and who are overweight or obese with a huge appetite they fight to control are in danger of serious health “incidents”, such as heart and/or cardiovascular disease and incidents, amputations, blindness, kidney failure, stroke, increased incidence of cancer, and other very unpleasant and ultimately life-shortening events.  While some of these conditions can be controlled or at least reduced with modern medications, an individual with any of these conditions is the only one who can really impact and ultimately reduce the damage caused by obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure and cholesterol, at least to some significant extent.

Obesity is a national plague in the USA, which, by the way, is the most obesity-intensive nation among all the advanced western industrialized countries.  Certainly, the USA has an educational environment where the vast majority of children get continuing good health and disease prevention information early on and throughout their school years and beyond.

That being the case, why is the USA so fat?  And why does the average American live four years less that his/her European counterpart (besides a broken health care system)?

Part of the reason is that America is essentially a traditional country that preserves, more than most European countries, “old world” practices of “You’re in this family and I love you, therefore you must (and you shall!) eat my food;  you will let me feed you until you’re overstuffed; otherwise you’re saying you DON’T love me!”

This weird practice is most prevalent during traditional holiday family gatherings, when most people will throw all caution and common sense to the wind and indulge in all form of unhealthy food consumption, both in quantity and content.

In fact, the tradition is so ingrained in the average American family that any member whom attempts to somehow shield himself/herself from the high-calorie high-carb, high-fat, high-cholesterol food onslaught is chastised and treated like an unreasonable outcast.  This is often done by people who themselves are in  need a of a diet.  The health-conscious person, being only human and totally devoid of any support, will often ultimately give in.   Then comes regret for days on end, as the blood-sugar levels and body weight subsequently scream, “You’re an asshole.”  The unwanted gift that just keeps on giving, it could be called.

Even being in one’s own home is often far from safe.  For some bizarre reason which defies this writer’s reasoning capabilities, some people seem to feel that they can invade one’s well-controlled environment, bring in and cook tons of high-calorie, high-carb, high-fat, high-cholesterol, greasy and unhealthy foodstuffs for hours.  Their actions permeate every surface within 100 feet with will-power-destroying smells and aromas of artery-clogging, blood-sugar-level raising, prohibited goodies.  Then, after attempting to apply painful embarrassment for the healthy decisions one tries so hard to stick to at the dinner table, they leave tons of left-overs in multiple places in one’s kitchen to ensure that any hard-fought will-power still intact after dinner is utterly reduced to gumbo.

The guilt of knowing one caved in and ate this stuff, all in the name of family or tradition, or both, is ultimately inevitable.

But what is probably most amazing and least acceptable is how no one else seems the least bit concerned over what they’re putting you through.  They’re devoid of even a rudimentary understanding as to why you are acting like such a “miserable scrooge”, why you refuse to be a member of the “team”, and why you just don’t just “let yourself go” once in awhile.  They won’t or simply can’t see that “once in a while” actually becomes many, many more than “one in a while” during the holiday season, depending upon the size of the family and/or group of friends.   “Oh, so what!!?!!” they say to you.

Yeah.  So what?  Eat all that food.  Otherwise, you just don’t love them.  And that would be heartless of you.