In this waiting time between the end of the spring primary season and the startup of party conventions in late summer and early fall, the presumptive candidates, Obama and McCain, are doing what they can for the American people to maintain interest in their respective campaigns. One might even call it is “silly seasonâ€, when one considers some of the topics they are battling over. Still, the polls seem to be trending slowly but steadily toward a slight but increasing lead by Obama among likely voters.
Ultra-conservatives are in a quandary about McCain, because they perceive him as too liberal for their tastes. But they will either vote for him anyway, or in rare cases vote for the libertarian candidate Bob Barr, or they’ll simply stay home.
More moderate and traditional conservatives and independents are seemingly the groups that McCain is having some trouble with, albeit for different reasons. The true conservatives see McCain as more of that same GOP that has abandoned traditional republican goals of smaller government and states rights. Independents, while sharing the same concerns as the traditional conservatives, see McCain as another Bush, and as someone who they are unsure of regarding where he stands on issues, since McCain’s stand on issues seems to tilt slightly toward the audience he addressing at the moment.
One might say that McCain is suffering from overexposure of his little-understood, often conflicting philosophies, or perhaps his unexciting way of talking to people and the press. Which tends to occur with 71-year-old people. He could probably benefit from a little pizzazz in his campaign to shake things up. Additionally, to distance himself a bit further from GW Bush could only help him, since Bush’s average approval ratings of the five most recent national polls give him an approval rating of 27.6%. You can read the polls HERE.
The solution for McCain is simple: Select a woman as your vice-presidential running mate! And make the selection before Obama announces his!
The benefits of this strategy are enormous. First, it would shock everyone, forcing them to take a new look at McCain. Second, it would demonstrate that he really does want change in the GOP as well as the nation. Third, it would get everyone’s eyes off Cindy McCain whenever she accompanies her husband on a campaign trip.
Depending upon whom he selects, other benefits come on line as well. Here are some suggestions and their associated perks:
1. Laura Ingram: McCain would have a built-in lawyer in Laura, and as a radio and TV talk show host, she can tell him what to say and how to say it, and when. Plus, she’s attractive to look at, and thus she would improve the visual when McCain is present. She also flew in a Navy jet once, so she and McCain can talk avionics. Read about her HERE.
2. Phyllis Schlafly: Very conservative author and anti-feminist, she opposed the Equal Rights amendment in the 1970’s. Her membership in the John Birch Society will warm the hearts of the most extreme right-winger out there. Because she is 84 years old, she will make McCain look like a spring chicken. More about her HERE.
3. Ann Coulter: A very attractive woman who will enhance McCain’s stature, and get everyone’s eye off of Cindy. Ann is a near-fascist-sounding conservative author, lecturer, and commentator with anyone who will give her the microphone. She has made a fortune warning America of the evils of all democrats. Known for her quick wit and scathing commentary, she is also a huge Grateful Dead fan. Couple that with McCain’s love for ABBA’s song “Take a Chance on Me!â€, and folks will be happily humming all the way to the voting booth. Read more about Ann HERE.
Of course, the one woman who could provide the most benefit to McCain’s campaign has yet to be mentioned:
Hillary Clinton.
Hillary would provide experience, power, knowledge, and give McCain the opportunity to prove that he truly is for change and for working with people from the other political party. He has already worked with Hillary in the senate, so he knows her capabilities. It would be the perfect marriage of republican and democrat, conservative (sort of) and liberal (sort of), and at the age of 60, she still looks good enough to enhance the visual when Cindy is not around.
But best of all would be when Hillary declines the offer. McCain can then say, “Hey, look, I offered, right?â€
Not only that, but the Obama camp would then have a clear reason not to offer the same thing to Clinton. After all, didn’t she just show the world that she’s not interested in the vice-presidency? Why would they ask someone who has already declined?
Hillary’s supporters would then flock to McCain since he offered and Obama didn’t.
See? The perfect strategy for McCain’s lackluster campaign.
Sometimes the perfect solution is just waiting for someone to spit it into the sunshine.
Dedicated to George Carlin